13 July 2006

Ann Coulter + The End of Philosophy



Will I ever be concerned with philosophy again? What was that? I got distracted... But pop culture is saving my life. Having symposiums (minus the young boys, olive oil and butt sex) gets you thinking about the big ideas, but it kills your liver and blackens your lungs. I'd rather be mindless.

All right, well get lost.
That may go down as my favorite line of dialogue. Ever.

[Full Disclosure: I was once physically ejected from an Ann Coulter event. This was during college. During a span called Spring Party Weekend. On a Friday. We'd had a bbq and tossed back a few Keystones when someone remembered it was time to go see Ann Coulter. She was coming to perform speak. Well, I used one of those Nalgenes, which the school gave out like Mardi Gras beads, and I made a stiff drink. I remember Ms. Coulter being very very funny. I smelled like charcoal smoke from the bbq. I made it to the Q & A. I let people skip me, temporizing to formulate something cogent. After seeing one of my friends go down, I stepped up.

--Uh... hi. Wait, no, no wait.

--Do you have a question?

--Yes I have a question. Just hold on a second.

--...

--Uhm. You're really attractive in person. You're actually pretty good looking... what are you doing later?

--Ryan [Trow, the president of the Colgate Republicans], GET HIM OUT OF HERE!

And like that, my face time with Ann ended. My beer goggles were fogging up and I was ready to be converted. But, damn. She's cold as ice. That night I convinced my academic advisor I was a lush, was detained by the authorities and protested the curtailment of my civil liberties.]

I miss Ann Coulter. If her stock sinks low enough, maybe I can get her to speak at the local rotary club or something.