14 March 2007

Best Line Ever (Of the Year)

This morning (or maybe yesterday, we don't really keep track of those things) Pop Matters gave us two interesting reviews. One held Explosions in the Sky's new (quite divisive, we have to admit) album All of a Sudden I Miss Everyone to a very high standard, giving it maybe a B-. (C.f., [paraphrase] An almost great album would be excellent from most bands. But Explosions in the Sky isn't most bands.) So, blah blah blah yackity schmackity: we understand. But this was the first EITS album we'd ever heard, and you never forget your first. So we love this one. And we got it in the mail on pretty yellow and green vinyl. And we still got the remix cd in the sleeve. So's, yeah. Two thumbs up.

But the point: we paraphrased the above (stupid, we must admit, we understand, but still, stupid) line in order to quote with more purity this line from a review of some band that apparently makes it its own business to reinterpret classic rock or something. Honestly, the review was pretty boring until the end.

If, on the other hand, you think the Ramones are the apotheosis of cool, do not listen to this record. I repeat: DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS RECORD. It will probably make you sick.

The protasis had something to do with some cheeky references to something or other, but this here apodosis is pretty sweet. The caps really sum up, we're willing to bet, the overall message of the review.

But, like, we have two questions, then. 1) Doesn't everyone think the Ramones are the apotheosis of cool (apo = towards; theos=god: highest form of, viz., in the development of something)? 2) Then why did this shitty not-even-really-the-Mahavishnu-Orchestra-whose-very-credibility-the-review-questions-anyway-knock-off-band's album get a rating of 6, which is only one less than the rating given to EITS' record?

But, arbitrariness is nice, too.