26 April 2007

Fuck Dan Stafford, whoever he Is

We sent this email out just now.


I've been receiving these emails for a while now, and I've tried to unsubscribe. I get this page,

We could not find that e-mail address in our records. This is probably because you get e-mail at another e-mail address that forwards to this one. Click here to try another e-mail address or reply to the original message you were sent for more help.

I want to unsubscribe. This email is not forwarded to me by another address (I suspect). And even if it is, I want you to remove "Brian M." from your database. I don't care how you do it, but you are making me want to burn down forests, spill oil from skyscrapers into the sea (don't ask about the logistics of that act), and discover a process that transmutes endangered species into harmful CO2 and radon, which I would then pump directly into every environmentalist's home and place of work. I am sick of receiving these emails, which I never read and promptly delete. I shall not stand for receiving these emails. I had been a liberal, but now I'm leaning more and more toward crazy, right wing Libertarianism. If you fail to cease immediately to send me; to place this practice in abeyance; to put a moratorium on my receiving these messages; to grind down wearily in a timewise, aged fashion this abuse of my half second it takes to click the delete button as soon as my eyes see the name "Dan Stafford;" end like apartheid; end this miserable excuse for a call to action (at least a call to my action); etc etc etc etc etc, I will be forced to contact my local authorities, the FBI, the Department of Homeland Security, the NSA, the Secret Service, the Joint Chiefs etc and tell them that a very bad, very liberal-seeming man might be harassing me and endangering the security of the nation by trying to engender (unsuccessfully, may'st I add) within my very soul a dissenting and anti-authoritarian spirit, which calls for the preservation of our environment, which preservation you and I both know is at odds with the government's agenda, which, QED, makes you a terrorist. Please please please remove me from this list.



I've read in a David Markson's latest novel (The Last Novel, which, by the by, is very good) that that is how (viz., surname only) some famous writer thought nobles signed their letters. So have at you, Mister Stafford!

On 4/26/07, Dan Stafford, Environmental Action Organizer wrote:
Hi Brian M.,

As gas prices nuzzle up to the three dollar mark again, Ford Motors made a startling announcement that global warming is real. Of course, for us, that's not really news, and in fact seems more like a company playing catch up.

The problem is that their announcement reeks of cynicism. The reality is that of Ford's 68 different 2007 models, only 2 get better than 30mpg in city driving. In fact, the average fuel economy for Ford vehicles is 18.2mpg in city driving, and 23.6mpg on the highway.

So we're sending Ford a message - if you're going to talk the talk, you need to walk the walk. We're calling on Ford to set a goal for doubling the gas mileage for their entire fleet.

To send Ford the message, click the link below, or paste it into your browser:


A couple years ago, Ford CEO Bill Ford Jr. announced a bold new plan to put 250,000 hybrid vehicles on the road annually by 2010. Then, they quietly reneged on their commitment, and have since continued with business as usual.

So while current Ford CEO Alan Mulally announces that global warming exists, their policies do nothing to actually solve the problem. Please take a moment right now, and send Ford a message - ask them to walk the walk.


And then please, pass this along to your friends and family - and thanks for your work.


Dan Stafford
Environmental Action Organizer

P.S. Thanks again for your support. Please feel free to share this e-mail with your family and friends.


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