11 May 2007

Les Enfants Terrible

[Old people are poor at learning new things; the act of aging and being-in-the-world as an old person is a new thing; therefore, all old people should be killed immediately. QED, motherfucker.]

We hate old people here at then no sound. Ian McEwan's Saturday (I.M., whom we love to read) stunk up the joint with all its subtle, well mannered portrayals of an upper-middle-aged person. Any time the graduate students brings up the fucking 60s, the fucking Summer of Love (tm), life fucking experience, their children, their wife, their hemorrhoids , their I-don't-care-fucking-what something to do with being old: Our pens bend under the grip of our overcaffeinated, enraged hands. Particulate matter from our teeth makes inaudible sounds as it drops from our grinding mouth. Etc.

Old people are greedy, ruined the world before we were born, and try to atone for that burden giving us their wisdom, which is shit because if they were so fucking wise they wouldn't have ruined the world before we were born. We like the Beatles qua band; we fucking hate the Beatles, though. We especially hate Paul McCartney. His newest album will be available for download on iTunes, and Starbucks is going to shill it for him, on the iTunes storefront. Good luck asshole, I don't think my mother even knows how to turn on the Internet.